1. Don’t use a chainsaw naked. (Follow me for other safety tips.)

2. For Hanukkah this year imma gonna pray the gas in my generator lasts for 8 days.

3. Never let your dogs kiss you after they’ve been outside (unsupervised) for 2 hours.

4. A 24’ camper is basically a fancy dog crate. But it’s a lot warmer than a tent.

5. Dogs make great bedwarmers.

6. If the camper’s rockin’… it’s probably very windy.

7. Dude! Where’s my fucking house?

8. Chatting up woman at the bar (WaB):

“So I live on a 36 acre ranch”

WaB: “Sounds nice. I suppose you have a big ranch house?”

“Did I mention I have 36 acres?”

WaB: “I’m outta here.”

9. A ranch can be a lonely place without someone to build it with.

10. Where do I go from here?