1. Don’t use a chainsaw naked. (Follow me for other safety tips.)
2. For Hanukkah this year imma gonna pray the gas in my generator lasts for 8 days.
3. Never let your dogs kiss you after they’ve been outside (unsupervised) for 2 hours.
4. A 24’ camper is basically a fancy dog crate. But it’s a lot warmer than a tent.
5. Dogs make great bedwarmers.
6. If the camper’s rockin’… it’s probably very windy.
7. Dude! Where’s my fucking house?
8. Chatting up woman at the bar (WaB):
“So I live on a 36 acre ranch”
WaB: “Sounds nice. I suppose you have a big ranch house?”
“Did I mention I have 36 acres?”
WaB: “I’m outta here.”
9. A ranch can be a lonely place without someone to build it with.
10. Where do I go from here?